


like a needle finds a groove

by luciferinasundaysuit



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Developing Relationship, Insecurity, Kissing, Loud Sex, M/M, Miscommunication, Roommates, Unsafe Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 05:14:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17176583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luciferinasundaysuit/pseuds/luciferinasundaysuit
Summary: “How many people have you done that with?” Chris asks.Cody smiles. Chris is considering it. “Nobody. I wouldn’t let anybody else.”Chris’s jaw goes slack and his eyes get wide, and Cody realizes he may have said too much. “You’re the only one I’d let give it to me raw” isn’t buddies either.





	like a needle finds a groove

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ohtempora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohtempora/gifts).



> For ohtempora, who likes kissing, dumbassery, messy feelings, college AUs, and Chris Taylor’s abs.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who looked over this and encouraged me. Until reveals, you know who you are, and I appreciate you so much.
> 
> Title from “Strip It Down” by Luke Bryan.

“Be quiet,” Chris hisses, mouth so close that Cody can feel his breath.

Cody cranes his neck up to kiss him, shivering when Chris bites at his lip, then flops back against the pillow. “I _am_ quiet.”

“That’s a fucking lie, and you know it,” Chris says.

Cody frowns, pout forming. “Is not,” he insists. 

It is, it definitely is, but Cody’s not going to admit to that out loud. 

Chris is his roommate and his teammate, and it took an entire fucking year for Chris to agree to fuck him, Cody trailing behind him like the dumb freshman he was. Now he’s a sophomore, and he knows he’s just as dumb, and the last thing Chris wants in his senior year is some stupid kid falling in love with him. 

Technically, Cody’s a stupid kid who already fell in love with him, but that’s worse, he thinks. 

Chris kisses him, beard dragging against Cody’s cheeks, and Cody gasps, sound thankfully muffled by Chris’s mouth.

Chris snaps his hips hard, thrusting deep inside Cody. Cody lets his head fall back and makes a high, wounded noise.

“See?” Chris says.

Cody rocks his hips down, trying to get more. “Maybe you’re right, but like. I don’t give a fuck.”

Chris sighs. “You’ll care when the entire dorm is talking tomorrow.”

Cody won’t. He wouldn’t care if the whole world knew, but that’s not buddies, so. Chris doesn’t have to know that. 

He clenches down around Chris, grinning at Chris’s groan. “That’s a problem for future slash sober Cody.”

“You know you’re gonna wake and bake tomorrow,” Chris says.

“I mean, yeah,” Cody admits. Obviously.

He wraps his arms around Chris’s back, hooks his leg around Chris’s hips. Chris’s hands are braced on either side of his head, and he turns to press a kiss to Chris’s forearm.

“Your _arms_ ,” Cody whispers, reverent.

Chris laughs. “They’re the same as they were yesterday. Nothing new.”

His arms were great yesterday too, and the day before that, and the day before that, and every day since Cody’s known him. He just tries not to say it every single day because that might be weird. Would definitely be weird.

Cody shrugs instead of answering. He’s not stoned right now, but he’s buzzed off Natty Lite and mystery punch from the Sigma Chi house, and he fucking loves being under Chris, loves Chris’s arms boxing him in, loves Chris filling him up. 

“You gonna fuck me now?” Cody asks.

Chris sighs. “I don’t know; you gonna be quiet?”

Cody squirms a little, trying to get Chris deeper inside him. 

“Probably not,” he answers honestly, “But I’ll let you come on my face.”

Chris licks his lips. “Yeah? You want that?”

Cody nods. “Yeah. Fuck, CT, get rid of the condom, I’ll let you come in me.”

He didn’t think about it before he said it, but now that he has, it’s all Cody wants, to feel Chris inside him, to have Chris’s come dripping down his thighs.

Chris bites his lip, and Cody can’t take his eyes away from Chris’s mouth.

“That what you really want, Belli? I’m not gonna do it unless you really want me to. Shit, you idiot, unprotected sex isn’t a bargaining chip,” Chris says, sounding scandalized.

Cody shrugs. “Yeah, dude, come on, you wanna raw me, wanna give it to me like that, don’t you?”

Chris gives Cody a few short, hard thrusts. Cody keens and digs his fingers into Chris’s shoulders.

“How many people have you done that with?” Chris asks.

Cody smiles. Chris is considering it. “Nobody. I wouldn’t let anybody else.”

Chris’s jaw goes slack and his eyes get wide, and Cody realizes he may have said too much. “You’re the only one I’d let give it to me raw” isn’t buddies either. 

Very little about this situation is buddies from Cody’s side, but it’s supposed to be, and that’s what counts. Chris wants buddies, and Cody wants Chris to keep climbing into his too small dorm bed and covering him up with his thick body, so Cody’s going to give him buddies or die trying.

Chris hitches his hips. Cody doesn’t even try to hide his moan.

“You’re sure that you’re clean?”

Cody nods eagerly. “I hadn’t, before. Like, I fingered my high school girlfriend a lot, but she was terrified of getting knocked up, so. And only handjobs with guys. I’m clean. I swear.”

Chris stops moving. “I was your first?”

Cody bites his lip. “I thought you knew,” he says quietly.

He’s not lying. He never said because he was embarrassed, but he didn’t think he was actually hiding anything. He thought Chris could tell.

Chris stares down at Cody. He looks like he’s thinking, hard.

“Alright,” he finally says. “I got tested in July, and you know it’s just been you since then. Next time, though, after me, see the test results. Don’t take people at their word. And we’re gonna talk later about how I just fucking found out I was the first person to fuck you five months after the fact.”

Cody doesn’t want to think about other people or next time or especially after Chris. He pulls Chris down to kiss him. Chris goes easily, bringing his hand up to the side of Cody’s neck. Cody makes a contented sound at the feeling of Chris’s beard against his skin. He’ll have beard burn, maybe. He hopes.

“I really thought you knew,” Cody says.

Chris sighs. “I knew you hadn’t, like, a lot, but I didn’t know you’d never. I should’ve asked. That’s my fault. Damn it, Cody, your first time should’ve been better than a frat house bathroom.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Cody says. “That’s what I wanted. Just fuck me, please?”

“Okay, but we’re coming back to this.” 

Chris pulls out, rubbing Cody’s side as he moves. He tries to be careful, but Cody still whines. 

Chris squeezes his hip. “Just a second, Belli.”

“Hurry up,” Cody urges. “I feel empty.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Chris says as he gets rid of the condom. “Okay, okay, hold on.”

He leans over to Cody’s desk and grabs the bottle of lube, slicks himself up, then drops the bottle on the floor. 

“I’ll get it later,” he says. 

Cody shrugs. He could literally not care less.

Chris presses the head of his cock against Cody, and he watches Cody closely, eyes flicking up and down, watching Cody’s face and the rise and fall of his chest. Chris’s irises are so dark blue that they’re almost black. Cody knows Chris is objectively not as hot as Cody thinks he is, but that doesn’t matter even a little bit. He just wants Chris to look at him like that forever.

“Okay?” Chris asks.

“Yeah,” Cody says, “I’m good for it, come on, get in me.”

Chris thrusts back in, movements slow and controlled. 

“Shit, you feel good,” he breathes out.

Cody smiles, pleased with how strung out Chris sounds. 

“Told you this was a good idea,” Cody says, smug.

Chris rolls his eyes, but he keeps moving, keeps making Cody feel good. He shifts a little, hits Cody just right, and Cody _screams_. He can’t help it.

Chris puts his hand over Cody’s mouth. “Cody,” he says sharply. 

Cody licks Chris’s palm, and Chris snatches it back, glaring at Cody. He doesn’t stop moving his hips, though.

“You need to be quiet,” Chris says. “We’ve talked about this.”

Cody shrugs, as nonchalant as he can be with Chris balls deep inside him. “I’m not embarrassed.”

Chris might be ashamed to be fucking Cody, and Cody gets that, he’s kind of a disaster, but Cody’s not ashamed. Not at all.

“Of course you’re not, you vain little shit, but it’s fucking rude to have loud sex in the dorms. Nobody wants to hear us,” Chris says, exasperated.

“Oh,” Cody says. 

He hadn’t really thought of it that way. Chris is more responsible than him, more considerate, an all around better adult and probably better person, so of course he’s thinking of other people. 

Chris frowns. “Why do you think I’m always telling you to be quiet? You think I don’t like to hear you?”

“I mean, kind of. I thought it annoyed you. Doesn’t matter,” Cody says. “Fuck me, Chris, let’s go.”

He thought Chris barely put up with it. His brain can’t handle the idea that Chris might actually enjoy it when Cody’s loud. He grabs Chris’s ass and arches up against him. His dick catches against Chris’s abs, and he groans, muffling the sound against Chris’s shoulder.

Chris’s mouth turns up at the corners in the barest hint of a smile. “I like it. You sound good. We just can’t be loud. See, you weren’t loud right then. I knew you could keep quiet if you tried.”

Cody sticks out his tongue, and Chris laughs. 

“Well, you can,” Chris says.

“Yeah, I’ll just keep my mouth against you the whole time. Cover you in hickies. I’m sure you’d love that,” Cody says.

Chris moves his hips faster. “I wouldn’t like. Mind.”

Cody blinks up at him, stunned. “What.”

“I mean, not on my neck. But lower is alright,” Chris says.

He leans forward, presses Cody down under his weight, and Cody buries his face against Chris’s shoulder. He squeezes his eyes shut and feels Chris move against him, inside him, around him. Chris thinks Cody’s dumb noises sound good. Chris wouldn’t mind Cody leaving marks. Cody never even thought those things were a possibility.

Cody pulls back enough to be heard. “People might see. The guys.”

Chris squeezes Cody’s thigh, his weight balanced on one hand. “Don’t care. But not above the collar. I mean it, Cody.”

“Jesus fuck,” Cody groans. 

He can’t think. His brain is fizzling out. What’s a thought? He’s never had a thought in his life. Just Chris heavy on top of him, moving just right.

“ _Quiet_ ,” Chris reminds him.

Cody nods. 

Chris wants quiet. Chris doesn’t hate his noises. Chris is going to let Cody give him hickies. 

Cody pulls Chris down, rubs up against him.

“I could grind against your abs for the rest of my life,” Cody says solemnly.

Chris’s rhythm stutters. Shit, Cody thinks. He wasn’t supposed to say that either. He’s so damn bad at buddies.

“Fuck, Belli,” Chris says. 

He looks down, watches Cody’s dick rub against his stomach. Cody’s hard and leaking, and the friction feels amazing, but Chris’s eyes on him feel better. He arches his back, tries to make himself look good.

Chris slides his hand up Cody’s side, rests it on his stomach. Cody likes how much space Chris’s hand covers.

“You want me to touch you?” Chris asks.

Cody shakes his head. “I want it to - .”

“To last, yeah, I know,” Chris says. “You always do. I never would’ve taken you for liking it slow.”

Cody bites his lip. He never wants to rush with Chris, no matter how desperate he gets. The longer he draws it out, the longer Chris stays with him. Once they get off, Chris usually kisses Cody a few times, cleans him up, then retreats to his own bed. 

“I just do,” Cody says.

Chris presses his thumb to the head of Cody’s cock. Cody bucks his hips, whines.

“Chris,” he gasps.

Chris licks his lips, and Cody knows that face. That’s Chris’s “looking for the right words” face. Cody can’t have that.

“Just fuck me, CT, put your back into it,” he says, then turns his head and bites at Chris’s collarbone.

“ _Shit_ ,” Chris groans, and that’s not quiet at all.

“You like that?” Cody asks, voice full of wonder.

“Yeah,” Chris says tightly. He gets his fingers into Cody’s hair, somewhere between pulling and stroking. “Yeah, I like it. Do it again.”

Cody does. Chris rewards him with a hard thrust, then another, and another. Cody wants to moan, wants to whine, wants to scream, but Chris wants quiet, so Cody digs his teeth into Chris’s shoulder and hangs on.

Chris makes a noise that could be a grunt, but Cody hopes it’s a groan. He kisses over his bite mark, sucks at the skin until a red spot forms. A bruise will bloom by tomorrow, and only Cody and Chris will know where it came from. Fuck, Cody likes that. Chris doesn’t want Cody’s stupid feelings, but he wants his marks, and that’s almost good enough. 

Cody leans back against the pillow. He wants to see Chris, see his messed up hair and his blue-black eyes. He reaches up and presses his hand to Chris’s cheek. His heart skitters in his chest when Chris leans into his hand.

“You’re so hot,” Cody says, voice soft.

Chris huffs out a laugh. “You don’t have to bullshit me, Cody. I’m a sure thing.”

Cody can feel Chris’s beard rasp across his palm as he talks, and he likes that, but Chris is still full of shit.

Cody snorts. “Dude. You are not.” 

He’s never had less of a sure thing in his life. Chris is going to leave him, either when he finds out about Cody’s big dumb feelings or when he graduates. Not that there’s much to leave. They don’t have a relationship. Just this bed in this room in this shitty dorm.

“Yeah, sure, I make you work real hard for it,” Chris teases.

He grabs Cody’s hands and pins them over his head, quick and sudden. He squeezes, and Cody whimpers. 

Chris grins. He leans forward and thrusts hard, moving Cody back with the force of it. Cody tries not to scream, really he does, but Chris is making him feel so good.

“Damn it, Cody, do I need to gag you?” Chris asks.

Cody doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to. His dick fucking leaps. 

Chris looks dumbfounded, but his eyes are full of heat. “Really?” he asks.

Cody can feel his face pinking up. He shrugs. “One of us is easy here, and it’s not you.”

He’d let Chris do anything he wanted, but he’d especially let him do anything that made Cody feel kept, even for a few minutes. Cody’s good at pretending. He does it all the time. It’d be nice to pretend something he wants for a change.

“You’re really not,” Chris says. He loosens his grip on Cody’s wrists, thumbs brushing across Cody’s pulse points, but he doesn’t let go.

Cody bites his lip. He hates when Chris jokes like that, about how Cody’s difficult. He knows he is, that he’s a terrible roommate and a pain in the ass and a constant mess for Chris to clean up. He knows he’s lucky Chris even gives him this, that he’s greedy for wanting more.

“Yeah, I know, the team makes you babysit the problem child, but I make it up to you,” Cody says. 

He rocks down against Chris, fucking himself on Chris’s cock. Chris lets out a tiny, bitten-off noise, and Cody grins.

“The room’s a disaster, we have no groceries, and you’ve had to re-write my last five papers, but I spread my legs for you whenever you ask, and that’s a more fun way to contribute anyway.”

Chris goes stock-still. He looks down at Cody, stricken, and lets go of Cody’s hands.

“Chris?” Cody asks. “What is it?”

Chris pulls out. Cody whines and reaches for him. He feels empty, bereft. 

“No,” he begs. “Please, Chris, don’t stop.”

Gently, so gently, Chris pushes Cody’s hands away and moves back until he’s kneeling just out of Cody’s reach.

Cody feels his stomach tangle up in knots. He’s not sure what he did, but he must’ve said too much, and now Chris is going to stop this, stop wasting his time with Cody.

Chris opens his mouth to speak, but Cody beats him to it. “Whatever I said, I didn’t mean it. Please, just forget whatever it is.”

“Cody,” Chris says. “Cody, do you think you have to do this?”

Cody’s jaw drops. “What? No. I want to. Fuck, Chris, you know I want to, you know how good you make me feel, come on.”

“You said this is how you contribute to the room. Did you mean that?” Chris asks, and he looks so fucking sad, Cody can’t handle it.

Cody reaches out to touch Chris’s face, but Chris dodges his hand.

“Chris,” Cody says desperately, “Please. It was a bad joke. I’m an idiot, you know that. I just. I don’t really like it when you joke about how I’m hard to deal with when I say I’m easy. I know I _am_ , I’m a total pain in the ass and probably not a good enough lay to make up for it anyway, and I should learn to take a joke better, but I didn’t mean to make you think I don’t want to do this, you know I do, of course I do,” he rambles.

“Hey,” Chris says carefully, like Cody’s a spooked animal. “I didn’t say you were difficult. I just said you weren’t easy. Like, easy to get. The same way you meant it. That’s how I always mean it. Cody, Jesus, have you thought I see you as a burden this whole time?”

Cody shrugs. He is. 

“The fuck do you mean I’m not easy to get?” he asks. 

“I waited for you for a fucking year, kid,” Chris says.

Cody’s eyes get the size of planets. He has no idea which planet is the biggest, but he’s thinking Mars, at least. “You. What. No. You did not. I chased _you_ for a year, dude.”

“Yeah, and I waited for you to mean it. Do you know how fucking hard that was?” Chris asks.

“That’s bullshit, I always meant it,” Cody says, angry. “Wait. What?”

Chris sighs. “You forget how much older I am than you, don’t you?”

Chris is right. Cody knows that Chris played ball in some independent bus league for two years before going back to school, knows Chris is 24 instead of 22 like most seniors, but he forgets that means Chris is five years older than him. It’s not Cody’s fault, or at least he thinks so. His July birthday means he’s one of the youngest people in his class, so everyone seems older than him, and there are lots of people with weird life paths. Chris isn’t even the only 24 year old on their hall.

“So what?” Cody asks.

“So I couldn’t hook up with an 18 year old who only thought he liked me but really just liked my abs,” Chris says. 

“You don’t _want_ me to like you,” Cody says, confusion in his voice.

Chris shifts until he’s sitting down, still not touching Cody, but closer than before.

“Cody, where is this coming from? We’ve been seeing each other since August. I know we haven’t talked about being official or anything, but of course I want you to like me. Fuck, I hope you like me,” Chris says. “I thought you did.”

“I do,” Cody says slowly, “But. You want that? We’re seeing each other?” 

He doesn’t understand anything.

“What did you think we were doing?” Chris asks.

Cody looks down at the mattress, shrugs. “Fucking when you don’t have any better offers?”

“Hey, _no_.” Chris says. “It’s not like that. It’s never been like that. Shit, Cody, have you thought I was just putting up with you to get laid?”

“Not exactly? Like, you’re my friend. I know that,” Cody says.

Chris frowns. “But you thought I didn’t want to hear you make noise or let you give me marks because someone might see. Did you think I didn’t want anyone to know?”

Cody doesn’t answer. He just nods. Chris might _like_ him. Chris might _want_ him. He’s afraid to open his mouth and ruin it.

“ _Cody_ ,” Chris says. “I’m gonna come back up the bed, okay?”

“Okay,” Cody says. It’s more than okay. He wants to touch Chris so much.

Chris lays down next to Cody on his side. “Can you?” he asks, nudging Cody to turn over until his back is against Chris’s chest. 

He wraps his arm around Cody’s waist, and Cody shivers. They don’t do this much. Cody’s never asked for it, and Chris has only given it a few times. Slowly, Cody brings his hand up to wrap around Chris’s forearm. 

Chris presses a kiss to the back of Cody’s neck. “Can I ask you something?”

Cody nods.

“Why do you always want me to wait until the last second to touch your dick?” Chris asks.

Cody makes little circles with his thumb on Chris’s arm. “So I’ll last longer. So you’ll stay with me.”

Chris sighs. “I really fucked this up. Cody, I want you to like me. I like _you_.”

Cody tightens his grip on Chris’s arm. “I didn’t know.”

Chris kisses Cody’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. Fuck, we should’ve talked about it. I thought we were just keeping it casual because I’m graduating in May. I had no fucking idea you thought I didn’t like you.”

“I just. I figured you could do better. You never asked me out or anything, and I guess I never really thought you would,” Cody says. “I’m lucky to be here with you in this bed at all.”

Chris tightens his arm around Cody. “Okay, that? We’re gonna stop that right now. Yeah, you’re a pain in the ass sometimes, but I like you anyway. I don’t think you’re a burden or a nuisance, and nobody makes me babysit you. I volunteered. Even last year, when you kept trying to get in my pants, and I was waiting for you to want more than that.”

“I always wanted more than that,” Cody insists.

Chris sighs. He leans his forehead against Cody’s shoulder. “And that’s why you thought I didn’t really like you. Because I turned you down.”

“Sorry,” Cody whispers. 

He’s such a fuckup. He can’t even convince somebody he likes them when he’s head ass in love with them.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Chris says. “Except not tell me you were a virgin. That I’m annoyed about. I could’ve made it so much better for you if I had known.”

“It was good anyway,” Cody says.

Cody feels Chris shake his head. 

“I could’ve hurt you,” Chris whispers.

Cody turns around to face Chris, brings his hand up to touch Chris’s cheek. “You didn’t. Can you just. Can you fuck me? Please?”

“If that’s what you want,” Chris says.

Cody nods. “It is.”

“Okay,” Chris agrees. “You wanna get me hard again?”

Cody licks his palm and wraps his hand around Chris’s cock, smiling when Chris hisses. Chris kisses him, easy, gentle, and Cody strokes Chris until he’s ready to go. It doesn’t take long.

“Do you need more lube?” Chris asks.

Cody shakes his head. “You used too much anyway. Just get in me. Please, Chris.”

Chris slides his fingers into Cody’s hair and pulls him in close, kisses him hard. He taps Cody on the thigh. “Get your leg up for me.”

Cody does as Chris asks, lifts his leg and drapes it over Chris’s hips. Chris runs his hand up the back of Cody’s thigh.

“Your legs are so long,” he says, voice tinged with want. 

Cody hides his face against Chris’s neck and closes his eyes as Chris carefully thrusts back in.

Chris wraps his arms around Cody’s back. “If you want to make noise, you can. Fuck everybody else,” he says.

Cody grins and leans his head against Chris’s shoulder. “Nah, just me.”

Chris laughs. “Okay, Belli. Just you.”

He rocks his hips back and forth in short little thrusts. Chris can’t get much leverage like this, but Cody doesn’t care. They’re so close together, his dick grinding against Chris’s stomach.

“Fuck,” Cody groans. “Your abs. I like you for more than your abs, but damn, I really like your abs.”

Chris reaches in between them and takes Cody’s cock in his hand. “Let me make you feel good.”

“Oh, shit, you already are, but don’t let me stop you,” Cody groans.

“Do you even like drawing it out?” Chris asks.

“Yeah, but this is good too,” Cody says.

He likes waiting, likes Chris spending time on him, but Chris is so good with his hands. Cody likes knowing he can have both.

Chris snaps his hips, getting as deep as he can. “I would’ve made it good for you like this the first time, if I’d known.”

“It _was_ good,” Cody says. “I got on my knees for you in a bathroom stall, then I let you fuck me over the sink, and that’s still one of the top five lays of my life because I wanted it so bad.”

Chris groans. “I can do better than that.”

He drags his thumb over the head of Cody’s cock and moans when Cody clenches around him.

Cody grins. “You’re being loud.”

Chris thrusts his hips harder and moves his hand faster. “Maybe I am.”

“I like it,” Cody says.

Chris kisses him, licks into his mouth. “Good.”

Cody clings tight to Chris, shakes in his arms as they move against each other. He kisses Chris’s neck.

“If you want to leave a mark there, you can,” Chris says.

Cody shakes his head. “Here is fine,” he says, biting at Chris’s shoulder.

“Damn it,” Chris groans. He fucks Cody harder, tries to keep his hand in time with his hips.

“Hurry up and come in me,” Cody says.

“I’m doing my best here, Cody,” Chris tells him.

Cody returns his attention to leaving hickies on Chris’s shoulder, hands clutching at Chris’s back.

Chris fucks him, touches him, kisses his neck and his chest. Cody feels so fucking good. It’s better than it’s ever been because he knows Chris wants _him_.

“I’m gonna come,” he says.

Chris twists his wrist. “So do it.”

Cody falls over the edge panting into Chris’s mouth, coming all over his stomach and Chris’s hand.

“Just like that, Cody,” Chris says. He wipes his hand on the sheets and kisses Cody, balances his weight on his hands next to Cody’s head, bracketing him in. “Fuck, you look good.”

He slows his hips, and Cody drags his fingernails across Chris’s shoulder blades.

“Don’t stop.”

“You sure?” Chris asks.

“I’m sure,” Cody says. “Come in me, fill me up, come on. Please, Chris. I want it.”

He wants it so much, Chris coming hot inside him, Chris’s come dripping out of him, Chris’s come sliding down his thighs.

“Fuck,” Chris groans.

He keeps moving, Cody’s hands digging into his back, rhythm going ragged, until finally, he buries himself inside Cody and comes, face pressed to Cody’s neck.

“Yeah, yeah, come on,” Cody says, fingers stroking Chris’s hair.

They lay there like that, all tangled up together, until Chris finally raises his head.

“I like you. So much,” he says.

Cody grins tiredly. “Me too. I, uh. More than that.”

“Yeah?” Chris asks.

Cody nods. He hopes he hasn’t ruined everything, hopes he hasn’t asked for too much.

“That’s alright too,” Chris says.

Cody sags against the bed, against Chris, tension bleeding out of his body.

As gently as he can, Chris pulls out, kisses Cody to make up for it. “I need to get you cleaned up.”

Cody squirms a little. He can feel Chris’s come cooling on his thighs. He likes it as much as he thought he would. He reaches up, and Chris leans down to kiss him, lets Cody hold him close.

“Not yet,” Cody says.

“I’ll come back. I’ll stay with you if that’s what you want. Shit, Cody, I’m sorry. About all of it,” Chris says.

“Me too, but it’s okay now.”

Cody means it. 

Chris gives him another quick kiss, then sits up. “Wait right here for me,” he says.

“Wait,” Cody says. “I’m not asking for promises, but, like. What now?”

“I’m not sure,” Chris says honestly. “I’m yours until May. I can promise you that. After that, I don’t know. I’ll play ball wherever they’ll have me, for a while. I could maybe get signed out of an indy league, but I might wind up coaching wrestling and JV baseball and teaching social studies. That’s not gonna be your life. You’ll get drafted, probably high. And even if you don’t make it to the show, which is a big fucking if, my family’s here in Virginia, and yours is on the opposite side of the country.”

Cody closes his eyes, swallows hard. Chris is right. There are so many different ways their lives could play out, but most of them end with Cody thousands of miles away from Chris. 

Chris sighs and lies back down. He runs his fingers through Cody’s hair. “Look, we don’t have to decide tonight, but whatever happens, this isn’t nothing. Don’t think that anymore.”

He rubs up and down Cody’s back, and Cody presses into his hand. He doesn’t like to think about Chris not playing, doesn’t like to think of Chris settling down into a life back home while Cody’s still just a kid, doesn’t like to think about getting drafted and leaving Chris behind, but Chris is his for now. They have the whole spring semester, probably at least part of the summer. That’s so much more than Cody ever thought he’d get.

“Can we just lie here for a little while?” Cody asks.

Chris nods. “Whatever you want.”

“I like being messy anyway,” Cody says, reaching down to drag his fingers through Chris’s come.

“Fuck _me_ , that’s hot,” Chris says, tugging Cody closer to him. “C’mere.”

Cody leans into Chris until he’s mostly on top of him, settles against his chest.

“You can do that to me whenever you want. You can do anything you want to me, really,” Cody says.

Chris groans. “You can’t just say that, Belli, that’s not fair.”

Cody kisses Chris’s jaw. “But it’s true.”

“You really mean it, don’t you?” Chris asks.

Cody nods. Of course he does.

Chris kisses Cody, a quick brush of lips. “You know we’re gonna have to talk about that a lot, right? About what you actually want, not just about what you’ll let me do.”

Cody’s head is spinning. He’s never thought about asking for things.

“Yeah, but. Not right now,” Cody says.

Chris kisses Cody’s shoulder and tightens his arms around Cody’s waist. “That’s fine. We don’t have to do anything right now, Belli. We’ve got time.”

Cody nods and rests his forehead against Chris’s shoulder. He closes his eyes.

“You good?” Chris asks. He settles his hand on the back of Cody’s neck.

Cody moves back into Chris’s touch.

“I’m good,” he says against Chris’s arm.

He is, but he’s tired and confused and grateful and a little sad all at once.

“We’ll figure it out,” Chris says. It sounds like a promise.

“I want a lot of things, but mostly I want to stay right here,” Cody says.

Chris pulls Cody up to kiss him, hand cradling the back of his head.

“Yeah?” Chris asks.

Cody nods.

Chris runs his fingers through Cody’s hair, tugging just a little. “We can do that.”

Cody smiles. He crawls all the way on top of Chris, lets Chris’s ridiculous body take his weight. Chris doesn’t say anything, just waits for Cody to do what he wants and wraps his arms around him once he’s still. He holds Cody tight, and right then, he’s exactly what Cody needs.


End file.
